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  • Sarah Koestner

Watering the Plant of Intimate Relationships

Today I want to talk about connection. It's something we all want more of and something that in today's culture, many of us are lacking. We lack real connection with friends, family members and even the people who are closest to us: our partners.


Our society doesn't set us up for making connection a priority. Sure there's phones, text messaging and social media, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about heart to heart connection that can only happen when the phones are put down and we can slow down enough to really take one another in.


If you have children, it only gets more challenging to create the space to connect. But what happens when we don't make connection a priority?


Our relationships are like plants that need proper nurturing to grow and without tending they whither and eventually die.


Recently I've been struggling with connection. My husband and I are the parents to an amazing (and rambunctious) two year old boy. I have a coaching business and also teach at a university. My husband has his own demanding job. Sometimes it can feel as if we are simply tag-team parenting and passing like ships in the night.


What we've realized is that we need to make more time to slow down and connect-- even if it means that the blog post doesn't get written or the house doesn't get cleaned. It's important to let go of perfection and make time to water the relationship.


Watering your relationship doesn't have to look like going out to a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (although it can). It can also be about taking ten minutes at the end of a busy day to sit down next to each other, check-in and have a few minutes of heart connection. It's can be about taking the extra ten seconds to hug and kiss your partner good-bye, rather than rushing out the door and yelling, "Love ya bye!"


When we make space for connection with our partners, everything gets easier. The connection lightens our load and helps us to remember that we're not doing it all alone. It helps us to reconnect with what made us fall in love with this person in the beginning. And it brings more of a lightness to the routine of every day life. It helps us connect to gratitude and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in an entirely different way.


What's one action you can take this week to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it shifts your perception and makes you feel more full inside.



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